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This is Hacker Public Radio episode 3,951 from Monday 25th of September 23.

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Today's show is entitled, cell phone screen protectors.

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It is hosted by operator and is about 29 minutes long.

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It carries an explicit flag.

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The summary is I talk about how I fail at cell phone screen protectors.

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Hello and welcome to another episode of Hacker Public Radio with your host operator.

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Today we are doing replacing screen protectors.

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We are going to talk about screen protectors.

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If you don't care about screen protectors and you know how to put them on perfectly without

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a single spec of test, then move on.

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Other than that, I took a quick skim through and see if you can learn something.

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So the ones I like are in film, I'm looking at a stack of probably 10 screen protectors.

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I go through them, my wife goes through them and then we got some for the switch, which

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is the OLED one, but it's a regular old-style plastic.

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So the problem with these right is getting them on there and perfecting the application

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without getting any dust at all.

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So we'll start off right out the bat with my list, I actually have a list of stuff that

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I like to have before I do this.

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You want an area that's not dusty, you know, no cloth areas, you want to flat, you know,

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basically a pristine surface.

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I'm using a wooded, a Murphy table that I made out of like a little folding thing.

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It's a high Murphy table, so you can, it's in my office and you pull it up and it locks

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in and it sticks out probably three feet and I have a working tech bench that I don't

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have to hunch over and I can use these goggles and all that kind of stuff.

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So I'm not going to use the goggles or the magnifying thing, but we'll talk about the list.

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On new screens, obviously, I like the, like I said, aam film.

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If there's another one that's like a orange brand, let's see, super shields.

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I don't know.

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Sometimes you just get unlucky, so you put them on in the three days later you crack them.

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So, you know, just be aware that, you know, there's, there's brains out there that are

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probably not as good.

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There's ratings, it's called like S9 or E9 or something like that, they have ratings

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and you want the one that's like E9, H9H, which I don't know,

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but it's a bunch of who are anyways.

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So in the screens, a plastic pry tool, you can buy a pry tool set.

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A lot of them are like you fix it.

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This one's just a fellow.

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I like the, the, the kith that it came with with different kinds.

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And I've collected ones from over, you know, you order something like a, you know,

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dash camera, something, and they'll come with pry tools to use for the car.

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So I have various pry tools and such different sizes, but if you, if you take stuff apart,

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get yourself some pry tools, I'm really the eye opening one for me.

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Was this one that's a stepped pry tool?

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And it will step, as you shove it in the device, it will step and get caught in there.

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And that's what you want, because with a screwdriver or number of other foreign object,

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you stick in there and it wants to pop right back out.

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This is step based on what you do get that foothold.

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It'll stay locked in there and you can continue to kind of shove around and work on it.

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But, you know, it's, it's, it's a skill set that is acquired over time.

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I'm actually pretty good at it.

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You just take your time.

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You can't be at a rush for that stuff.

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It's different than like you have nothing else to do.

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It's like getting in child's car seat, right?

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Pretend you have nothing else to do, except for to slowly take apart this clam shell of glue,

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got awfulness.

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So anyways, I want to pry tool, wind exit, you know, people,

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swear against it, swear for it in either direction.

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I use it because you need something on there besides water or ice-progal alcohol sometimes.

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It's just easier.

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We're not going to pretend like we're near it.

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By the time your screen is whatever you're going to need a new phone anyway, so, two cares.

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Gloves, like a rubber gloves, he's, this little blue gloves, baby.

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Paper towels, microfiber, weight.

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I have a 10 pound weight here, and we'll talk about that later.

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Can't air to blow off the dust.

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That's the most important.

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Like a can of air or even compressed air.

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But the can of air, ideally, is going to be more clean and theory.

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Like mine of fine glasses.

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I've been looking at dental, dental loops.

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They're very expensive, but I've tried to find one that will be slower profile than this

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big old like, you know, when you see the guys in the movies, they're soldering stuff,

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and they had the big old dumb goggles and look like a dork thing.

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I'm trying to find something that's lower profile than that,

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that I can get my head around.

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Because if I'm trying to get my head around inside of something,

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these little visors, these little manufacturing visors, they don't work.

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So, if you have any ideas or suggestions on, you know,

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a magnification stuff, but I have been looking at dental, dental loops for that stuff.

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Ice-progal alcohol, I'm actually almost out after having the same bottle for

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probably 10 years, I only have to see a date on here, but this is old.

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This has got to be of these 10, 15 years old.

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MG chemicals, I'd use their, wow, the lid is actually coming apart.

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So, this doesn't even actually hold liquid anywhere.

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The MG chemicals, I use their contact cleaner, gold.

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Great for connections, battery connections, journals, ports, anything, metal, the metal,

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you start noticing issues, spray spray, wait a minute,

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don't get on LCDs or anything like that, because it might screw them up.

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So, we got our materials.

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The biggest thing is, I've done this on a surface with

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cap for all it, that doesn't work convenient, no, just take your time.

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If I didn't ice-clean surface, we're going to wipe it off here, actually,

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with just my awesome index, just because I don't want,

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I don't want dust flying around, that's the worst, is having dust flying around.

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There's other stuff on this table, ideally, I would want the table completely clear

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of stuff, but I have nitrocar up here, and I got one of those wood puzzle,

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one of those wooden, put together things, kind of like the metal, metal earth, but wood.

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So, clean the surface off, make sure there's not any dust around,

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try not to have any dust around.

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I wash your hands real good, I use one glove instead of, and you obviously, too.

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That way, the other hand, I can use for grabbing stuff for whatever,

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so my clean hand never, the dirty hand, the non-glove hand, never touches anything,

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but the phone.

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So, actually, I just touched the door handle with my glove hand,

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which that is a matter of course, I'm about to wash my hands.

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So, I wash my glove, because I reuse this thing glove, reduce reuse.

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Sorry about the audio there, but I wash my hands, then I wait and let them dry,

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and I wash the gloves, obviously, put the gloves on, and then I wash my gloves.

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So, now I have a clean hand, and I'm going to try not to get ruined here.

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So, I've got my clean hand, we're putting, we're taking, my wife got a nice case.

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Let's see, UB pro, it's a super, super case, super, super case,

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super case, a drop protection, multi-blabdy blah blah, she dropped your phone on the corner, I think,

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can it crack dead, or if you crack the screen again, I can't say anything, I've had a lot of

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cracks in my day. Now, this set, the one that I got from MG glass, whatever these guys are,

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G glass, screen protector, the brand, it's green, and the MAM film, the M film folks sent a jig

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to put over the top of the phone to put it in place. So, that actually is good.

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If not, it's hard, I'd mind doesn't have a jig, some of them don't have a jig, because it's just

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not going to work, that there's not enough space for it. So, if you can get one with a jig, or if

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you know, it has the jig to come with it, I would do that. You go by, what I generally do is I go

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by the camera, I land the camera, the circle around the camera, the hole, they punch through the

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thing for the camera, and the circle for the camera, and the bottom of the phone. So, I will align it

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as I'm placing it down, and like I said, it's an art form, and it's going to take you a while to

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get there. I take paper towels and I rip them into little quarter sheets. So, now is when I would

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normally put on my goggles here, and I'm going to have to figure something out, because I can't do this

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without without using these, honestly. So, if I can't rig something out, sorry about the audio here.

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Yes, this is not going to work. I don't know. This might actually work long enough to do it.

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Let's do this. I got the weight, I'm going to put the weight here, and use it.

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There's really all you need is light shining on the phone as you're putting it down to make

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sure you're not like a missing anything. So, you need the can of air ready, and you need the

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phone itself. Now, this phone's not gross, because it was behind a shield, but I do want to make

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sure that there's no not a single spec of dust on there, and the only way to do that is to have

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it light on it at all times. So, I'm just going to spray windx on the paper towel and kind of let

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it as a let us sit on there. I shut the phone down, because black is really the best angle to see

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any kind of dust or anything. So, I have a paper towel in between the phone, and I just want

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that paper towel to give me some sleepness, so I can rub up and down and clean it up. This isn't

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bad at all, but in general, I like to, so first I do the windx and the, yes, he's not going to work.

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Am I going to be happy? Not going to be happy. I need a better setup than this. I actually took

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apart a spotlight that I might go grab. That is extremely bright, and I use it for scenarios where

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I need lots of light, and I don't have to worry about fulcening around with head lamps and

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whatever. So, I grease it up, no matter what, put ton of ton of windx on here, and you know,

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you're not supposed to use windx like this, but, you know, like I said, by the time you damage the screen,

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you either cracked it or you've got any foam anyway, so I mean, we're talking about like

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super long-term type stuff. So, I'll hit it up with the windx first to clean off grease,

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basically, to get the smearing off. I don't see any smearing. Now, it's just dust. So, that's where

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the iceberg of alcohol comes in. I've gone through three or four of these little paper towels already.

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But it's quick. Once you get it down, it's pretty much just can't air and cycle, and I just dropped

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my paper towel on the floor. Now, I have a cat and a wife and it is now compromised. So,

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pretty much, if you're in, you know, an area where you have pets or a pair or dust,

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I mean, I already see one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, nine, nine, 12,

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it's probably 20 specks of dust on here, and I just turned around for a second. So, just the fact that,

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you know, I'm breathing and stuff is falling in the air, right? Way too much. I'll go home on here.

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So, I need another dry one, and I'm almost out. But it's a little tiny square, so I don't feel

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bad about going through them, because I've only gone through like two paper towels. Now, you can

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clean the rest of the foam later, but I would clean it all now, because as soon as you grab a piece,

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a tiny little speck of dust, or worse a spot of grease, you are completely screwed. It's

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it, you're done. So, our surface is good. We've done our ice propel alcohol, we've done our,

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wind decks, our little layer of wind decks has dried up, because it evaporates. I would say,

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use water, but I don't know how many in here, so I'm going to grab some water from the cap

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of this thing. Now, I just touched the door, which I'm not super concerned about, but just a case,

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so I'm going to wash my hands again, because the door is covered in disgustingness, grease, people.

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Pickle matter. Pickle content, as they say, in the business. You know, the guys that take

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apart hard drives and stuff, they sit in these sterile rooms where, you know, not a single speck of dust

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enters the atmosphere. So, I got my little cap of water, which is basically gone now. So,

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I'll probably use some wind decks. I'm using my palm to close the door,

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and we're going to see if we can get that to stick on the river. So, a microfiber, they come with a

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crap ton of microfiber. If you can use a new one every time, I never remember which one is the

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views and which ones I haven't. So, I'm a bit of a mess when it comes to that, but if you can,

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remember, but it's a same direction. So, you swipe and that's the same direction to get off all

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those greasy spots and streaks. If you pick up a piece of grease, you end up kind of smearing it around,

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and that's when you have to go back to the wind decks, if it's that bad. This is not bad. I just

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have lots of dust. And, like I said, if you sweep in the same direction, you'll get that

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dust to kind of all go one direction, hopefully. So, like this microfiber cloth has dust all over it.

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It's just covering and dust. And it's been sitting inside of a plastic bag, inside of a

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container for four months or so. Now, most of them come with these stickers and you can pull the dust

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off the stickers and then you can put the blip blip blip blip blip blip. So, you pull the, it says

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glide guide sticker. I don't even know how you just must use this. Maybe to help you put the

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put the glass on correctly, and then they have a dust absorber, which is just whatever,

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I'm never even used these before. But, you know, it's basically a sticker that gets the dust off

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with. Now, you could do that forever, or you could just can't air. Now, I'm going to ready my

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S5A screen here. Obviously, you want to figure out the direction that it's supposed to come apart

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and keep it face down. Don't even worry about the top. It's pretty much more or less sterile.

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Don't worry about cleaning the top. You do want to make sure you don't have any grease on it

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when you go to put it on. So, touch it with your glove hand, right? Just remember to touch everything

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you can with your glove hand and nothing the phone with your right. If you want to have to touch the

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phone, you want to hold on the outside with your dirty hands. So, it's traditionally where it's

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spot now, where I'll start using the can of air to make sure that I can blow off anything I don't need.

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Or you say I don't want it. So, I kind of spray all around. So, kick up,

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please go off all the dust to get it away from the phone. And then I do this little weird game,

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why is who ate that? Did somebody eat that? I'm looking at the end of my, the end of my nozzle has

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hair on it. I don't even know what that is, something. I have oil, I had oil,

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a clock oil leak in my container and now there's clock oil on the bottom of everything and now there's

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goopy on the bottom. So, any of the little tubes, anything is down there on the bottom gets

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a nice dose of oil all over it. So, now I see a little something. I don't know what this is.

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I see some streaking from left to right from the, I guess, wind exit. But multiple angles,

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you want to look at it for multiple angles and see, because you want to angle it, you don't see

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anything. And from another angle, I'll see all these weird looking streaks that look like they might be

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from the, uh, wind exit. So, some previous streaks in there. And honestly, the whole like do

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your, your lazy, do the whole mouth thing just like that actually works, man. Don't ask me how or why,

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but you would think there would be all kinds of extra goop in your breath that would make it

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compromise it. But if you don't have the time for the resources to do it correctly. So,

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I'm basically using the can of air at point point range to blow off any speck of dust.

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Like I see a little thing here and I'm trying to verify if it's a scratch or if it's just a piece

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of stubborn, whatever. So, once you see a scratch or something, this is a scratch, you got,

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you got dropped or something. Or this screen got replaced and when this screen got replaced, they

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they out the piece of dust behind the screen. So, I would, I'll say that that's not my fault.

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That looks, that looks on top. So, that looks like that got scratched somehow.

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Honestly, it is a, it's a micro scratch. Very small. Must have been while she was waiting to get her

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case and I told her not to do that, but you know, you know how people listen to us in our field.

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All right, so I've gotten most of this cleaned up. I'm hitting over the can of air and the light

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at multiple angles. I still had that little scratch guy, which I don't know what he is. He's

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definitely on the outside, but it's not coming off. So, I got one little, one little section, the lower

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corner here that doesn't want to comply. And again, I've got some kind of little something

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I'm using the glove to kind of scrub and that is also a scratch. Two scratches actually.

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Just tying you a little dents. Almost like it was dropped or something. So, we got like three

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on this phone. And it's never been without a case. It's never been without a case or without a screen

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protector and it's still, whatever. Some people swear against three protectors. That's another thing.

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I'm actually going to turn this sideways, I have their own direction. If you have it sideways,

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you can see more of the phone. I just touched it but I think you're damn it. So, as hard as you

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started to try, you still have it. But yeah, I keep it sideways so I can see up and down easier.

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I don't know how to wrench over and to get to the rest of it. So, I mean, I see a couple of spots.

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And that's pretty much it, man. You just got pulled you, whatever you got. It's afraid of whatever you

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want to pray to. This jig, I don't really want to put the jig on, but I will because

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whatever. Oh, this is the wrong. This is one from mine, actually. This is for, I think my life's

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old one. So, that won't even work. So, we get to do this life. So, I line up the camera circle

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and then I line up the bottom. So, like, what will happen is the camera will be on point,

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but then the bottom will be shifted, left or right or whatever. Off pops in so that you get a

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watch out for that. And you're basically just kind of for a while, you're just slowing off whatever

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dust lands on, because basically you're trying to keep the environment completely clean of anything.

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You're just constantly spraying until, you know, you just, I have not taken the film off the

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bottom yet, but I'm hovering it over the top to protect, to protect the film. So, the idea here is that,

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you know, whatever's falling from the sky or falling off in my head or whatever is not going to

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fall. And this will be a theory, a kind of a sterile area. And it's like ripping off a bandage,

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man, you just gotta go. And it's still it on there. There's one little button here. You know,

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this can't air, so I'm actually getting cold. So, pulling the bottom off.

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Okay, let's take a stuck in my finger for a second. Right now I can't really see the camera port

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that will. But kind of once you drop, you can't shift it ever so slightly.

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Feel like we're in a good spot, but once you drop what you're done, that's it. Now, if there's

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something under there, guess what? Put it off, start all over. If you want to do it right,

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get out, start all over. I did not push from the inside out. I was more concerned on this one

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about making sure it landed flat, but this is where you're whatever tools in. It's a pointy piece of

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plastic. And then I push, this is actually the pointy, it's not what I want. I want the flat.

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This little flat piece better, better inch wide, flat pry tool. And I just go from the inside out

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look for those bubbles. I see zero bubbles. Usually on one side of the other, you'll get, um,

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it won't glue, it won't connect right. I'm a little off left right. Up and down is perfect,

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but left to right is a little bit off, but the camera is on point. Like, the camera is like straight

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in the middle. So actually, I don't know why this looks like it's off by a, uh, I guess it's almost

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perfect. So, um, the deal breakers, you know, you get it all put together and you clean it up and

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then you look at it and it's got a cat for a piece of cat for it. I did it on the the dining room

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table, uh, once. And that's when I, that was the last time I ever did on the dining room table,

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because, you know, you spend all this time and you put it up there and then, you know, you put it in,

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you give it to your wife, but she's like, what's this? That wasn't there, it didn't take it to go before

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I put it on here. So, um, you have something, I don't know what that is. That looks like it's under.

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There's one little tiny speck of something under. That's also another tiny speck of something

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under. But we're not talking hairs. Hair is what will break. We'll break you. You can do a tiny

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little speck and honestly, my wife won't care. Um, she won't know. You heard her. Um, but yeah,

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there's a piece of hair right there. A little tiny, probably millimeter piece of hair, but

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it's not a giant piece of hair. Not even a millimeter. It's, I see a, I see a bubble.

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We might be fucked on this one. There's a piece of dust in here, big enough till two pieces.

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Wow, this one's done. I'll probably have to redo this with the headset on so that I can

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see anything before I put it on. But yeah, we got one piece of hair that's so thin that it doesn't care

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and then we have a piece of dust that's lifted up down here. That's a piece of hair.

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And another piece of dust that's lifted up. I have, let's see, I have one, two, three of these.

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And my wife tends to hold on to phones. So I might, I might count my blessings with this one.

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And see if I can get it to stick. So when you're done, uh, that's the easy part is over.

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Or the hard part's over. When you're done, I take a, a 10 pound weight and I put it on top of the,

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little piece of foam that came with the touchscreen protector foam and I lay a 10 pound weight

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on top of it and I let it sit. And hopefully it's, hopefully that pressure will kind of glue

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it to the thing and it will, it won't lift up. But if I come back in 10 minutes and it is still,

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you know, raised where the piece of, there's one piece of dust on here that's pretty big and it's

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raising the, it's disconnecting the, the screen protector from the thing. So it's like this

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cube. It's like a really thick adhesive. And that thick adhesive right wraps around any dust particles

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that are merged in the surface because it's never going to be 100% perfect. I've had like two

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three perfect ones out of the 10 I put on and it's just luck. I mean, honestly, unless you're

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in a clean room with some kind, it's just luck. I feel like, I don't know, I just had the air

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conditioner on in here to keep it cool before I recorded. So it might be just blowing around in

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here or me talking who knows. But oh well, anyways, that's not great. I'd say on a scale of one to 10,

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that's a solid 7, 8, 7, um, usually I like to have no, no dust on it at all and, you know, it's just

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depends. I just, just for my wife, it doesn't matter for myself, it depends on how big it is. As long

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as it's not all lifting up off, the, you know, disconnecting it, essentially, and causing a visual

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disturbance, I will let it go. But I feel like this is just not going to, it might not, you know,

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I not pass. And, you know, sometimes you got to do two or three. I mean, I think we're okay. It's,

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I think it'll stick. It'll stay. I'll let it marinate for a while and it's flat right now. There's no

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bubbles. But there's one piece of dust on here that I don't like. And a tiny little here that you

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can't even see with that light. Um, two, three, three, eight. I don't even know what that is. That's like

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carpet floods or something. I don't even know what that is. It's a very thin, it's almost like carpet

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floods or so anyways, hope that helps somebody out. Um, we know why that's that just died. But, um,

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you know, once been twice shy, any tips, uh, any ideas, and especially the, any kind of low profile

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magnifier thing that I can wear, um, would be great on any tips like the, the dental, who, or dental

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loops. Anyways, you'll take it easy. Have a good one and stay safe.

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